How’s your week going? This week I have 3 great pieces of learning to help you to greater success and acknowledgement as a leader.
Here we go…
3 Things that Hold Women Back in their Leadership
1. The Confidence Gap
That’s 30% more than men.
This matters for (at least) 3 reasons.
- We need a high level of confidence to create the behaviours that make us influential
- Women in particular need to feel confident before we apply for new roles
- Research says that confidence is at least as important as ability in securing opportunities.
The good news is that, as any elite athlete will testify, we can increase confidence with coaching and training. If there’s something holding you back – it doesn’t have to be a big deal to address it.
What we often don’t realise is that confidence comes AFTER we do something, not before. So if you’re waiting to feel more confident before doing something, you could be waiting a long time!
What we need beforehand is courage. And that’s about managing our fears and creating a self-identity that will propel us forward. These reduce the height of the barriers and enable us to progress more easily, with less anxiety.
Society, upbringing and circumstances (eg being away from the workforce for child-rearing) all contribute to our reduced self-confidence and self-esteem. But we don’t have to play the hand we are dealt. We can decide to learn how to have the confidence we deserve and the opportunities which follow.
2. The Need to be Liked
It may be difficult to hear but, for women, there’s a negative correlation between being liked and being a leader. We all know that when men’s behaviour is called assertive, women’s behaviour is referred to as ‘bossy’.
Women are also brought up to please others. This is why being liked is so important to us.
Put these two things together and you get a situation where women leaders can be tempted to want to be liked more than to be respected. We want our teams to like us.
Sometimes being a leader means you make unpopular decisions. ‘Nice’ leaders avoid the necessary difficult conversations, have trouble holding others to account and can fudge the challenging issues.
Kindness and compassion are essential, but Leadership is about respect, not liking.
3. Focusing Inwards at the Expense of Influencing Outwards
Women tend to believe that if they work diligently and do a good job, that will be enough to get them noticed and promoted.
Unfortunately, while men tend to spend time networking, and associating with their seniors, research shows that women prefer to associate with those more junior to them.
So when it comes to being tapped on the shoulder for a new role, the men are more top of mind – and they start the interview process as someone who is already known to the interviewers and has already expressed an interest in promotion and a talent for the job.
Even if there is no unconscious bias towards men in these situations, women put themselves at a disadvantage by facing inwards towards their teams at the expense of collaborating and influencing outwards. As a result, the men are more ‘mentally available’ to the hirer:
- They are more top of mind
- More is already known about them
- They have already established a degree of empathy and trust
In order to be more influential and to get themselves acknowledged in an organisation, women need to face outwards, building senior relationships.
Women often feel uncomfortable about doing this but need to find a way to do it nonetheless. Because nobody wants to be the best-kept secret!
3 Top Tips for Female Leaders
- Focus on creating a self-identity based on your future not your past
- Learn how to have difficult conversations – and then have them
- Have lunch with someone more senior than you
Let me know how you get on!
The programs are there to help you excel!
