An ambitious young woman approached me after a talk I gave last week on increasing effectiveness by increasing your influence. We were discussing providing business solutions to stakeholders.
‘I don’t think I can do that because I’m an introvert‘, she said. Now it just so happened that an ex-colleague, my go-to introvert, was a few meters away so I called her over. Did she agree?
No she didn’t. She saw it as all our responsibilities to ensure we had an informed point of view and to express it to those who could do something with it. It was a professional skill we all needed.
Introversion/Extroversion is a spectrum with most of us falling somewhere in the middle. It’s a measure of whether we are more energised by being in company or alone. It’s not a measure of whether we have an opinion or whether we are able to communicate it.
It’s not a measure of strength or of virtue or integrity. There are plenty of examples of introverts who have done some decent thinking, communicated it and changed the world, including Albert Einstein, Mahatma Ghandi and even Elon Musk. There are many famous introverted actors and entertainers – David Bowie, Johnny Depp, Meryl Streep for example.
All of these people have taken their talents to the world.
Introverts! Come to the Party!
Maybe you have some quiet introverts in your team, perhaps you’re an introvert yourself. If you’re more of an extrovert like me, be thankful you’re working with these more considered types.
I’ve had two companies, one was primarily all extroverts and in the other all were introverts apart from me! The former had the better parties but I think the latter probably did the better work.
Like it or not, we need each other. Without the considered, exacting and steadying hand of the introverts where would we be? But for this marriage to work, the introverts will have to resist the temptation to avoid potential disagreement and step up to put forward their views.
If you could use some help with increasing your confidence in having difficult conversations, I can help you develop some calm assertiveness.
Top Tips to Become an Assertive Introvert
I get it! Of course you don’t want to be an aggressive extrovert! So here are 3 top tips for putting forward your point of view this week.
- Come to a focussed recommendation – know the thing you want them to think or do
- Don’t bother waiting your turn. If the meeting’s full of extroverts nobody’s waiting in line. When you get half a chance, jump in.
- Be brief, to the point and don’t hesitate in the middle or you’ll be interrupted. Extroverts are notoriously short of patience. If you want to be heard, make it snappy and don’t give way till you’re finished.
